BIG MOVES and the DITCH WITCH

   The farm was in need of a few outdoor water lines, 

which meant it was also in need of a few long trenches, 

so Jack rented a Ditch Witch.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Ditch Witch...

de-unfamiliarize yourself! These things are sweet. 

   The Ditch Witch is an earth moving chain saw. You lower the blade into the ground and put the wheels in reverse - backing up towards your intended destination. Normally, you lay pipe at the bottom of the resulting trench and fill it back in.

Jack describes this process as "The unholy union 

between the ecstatic skin of the earth...

... and shitty plastic."

   However, since we would eventually need a large hole under the back of the airstream (filled with gravel and used as the grey water drain) Jack thought we might as well address this spot while we had the Ditch Witch. You can't exactly make a clean hole, but you sure can loosen up the dirt - which will make it much easier to remove later.

First step - move the Airstream. Big moves in Bridgeton. 

Next step - witch a ditch

   This thing was a bit difficult to control at first.

Imagine trying to dig a trench with a pig on a leash.

It digs. There's no question about that. 

But its herkin' and jerkin' all over the place 

and it only vaguely listens to where you want it to go. 

I found myself asking:

"Which ditch would a Ditch Witch stitch 

if a Ditch Witch switched its niche?"

   I can't answer that, but I can answer this:

What makes boys happier than all hell? 

moving a pile of dirt from one place to another. 

I had a good ol' time.

The Ditch Witch also had this great warning sign

The first part applies to some of the best situations:

"I don't know what's about to go down, 

but that shit's gonna be crazy."